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Carolyn Martin - Poet

“All my life I have tried to find the truth and make it beautiful.” – Sting

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Ode to Toilet Paper

April 6, 2020 by Carolyn Martin Leave a Comment

 

It happens this way …

Sometimes levity is the best reaction to today’s news. Here’s the lightest of light verse.

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angelsoft
quiltednorthern

Ode to Toilet Paper

Oh, what enticing names:

Angel Soft, Charmin, Cottonelle,

Green Forest, Quilted Northern,

Scott, Kirkland Signature.

 

Oh, how comforting:

the feel of softly embossed

flowers and leaves during

my body’s private activities.

 

Two of your layers clean

more smoothly than paper towels

or the napkins I swiped

from now-closed restaurants.

 

But, oh, modern necessity,

how you’ve been abused.

Hoarders crushed you

into SUVs weeks ago,

 

rendering you as rare as

a sunny winter day in Oregon,

a prayer on an atheist’s lips,

the truth on any brand of media.

 

Let me assure –

in the spirit of economy –

I count out your sheets:

four for #1, nine for #2.

 

If my calculations are right,

we’ll ride this challenge out,

comforted by more absorbency

with much less use.

Filed Under: It happens this way ..., Posts Tagged With: Toilet paper

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Comcast says

    April 6, 2020 at 1:47 pm

    Your humor is great! Chuck says TMI. But he also told me to tell you that he can do #2 on 8!😂

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Reply
    • carolynmartinpoet says

      April 6, 2020 at 1:53 pm

      That’s our Chuck!

      Reply
  2. Joan Miller says

    April 6, 2020 at 5:16 pm

    That was hysterical Carolyn!!!

    Reply
    • Carolyn says

      April 6, 2020 at 5:50 pm

      Glad to make you laugh, Joan!

      Reply
  3. Kelly Hanwright says

    April 7, 2020 at 9:14 am

    Wonderful, Carolyn! Yes, I find myself using much less as well. Probably a very good thing. We are learning not to take it for granted.

    Reply

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